Last night an iPad saved my life

Well. What to say? It's been a loooong time peeps and I have to be honest and say that since my last post I have not been moved to write anything let alone something worth sharing with the big bad world. But yesterday my best friend (aka that man i wed) gave me a little piece of technology I thought was primarily intended for Facebook and angry birds but as I shredded the wrapping paper squealing with delight I'm pretty sure I heard H say "now you have no excuse not to write". So here I am, 9 months after I last put finger to key, and I have to say it feels really great. The curse is broken....

"the curse?" I hear you ask, allow me to elaborate. 2011 has not been kind to us. Followers if this pathetic excuse for a blog will remember my last post in which I described our emotional state post miscarriage. A few days after that post I was contacted by the hospital and informed I had miscarried because I had a partial molar pregnancy. I wont go into the gory details but basically that meant I was at a risk of developing a very rare form of cancer and faced weeks of tests to make sure that wasn't the case. Evidently I'm fine but it meant we couldn't immediately move on with our lives and I was left feeling very uninspired for months. Since then we've copped a few more blows including a major hit recently when very close family member fell ill.

On new years eve last year one member of our party raised his glass and said "2011, the worst year on record. Sorry but I just have a feeling" and hence he cursed us (side note: the curser himself has had a great year). All jokes aside it's been a real bastard of a year but things are looking up and I'm feeling really positive about 2012. I have a great new job that I really enjoy, exciting things are happening for our friends and family and I'm looking forward to lots of adventures in the new year (and sharing them with you of course).

Well H is cooking duck so I'm going to crack open some vino and watch him do it! Merry Christmas!

Ps we were caught out in the crazy hail yesterday so have included some pics. We were driving and it got really scary, like gun fire! Hope all those British ex-pats I work with enjoyed their white Christmas they were missing so badly!

Such is Life

This is a highly personal entry but I wanted to share it with all the women/couples/families who have or may go through the same thing. Sometimes it helps to put these things out there - I know other people's stories have helped me. Sending love and hope to all of you out there.

Well it has been a while hasn't it? My apologies but 2011 has been quite a strange year for us so far. At the end of January H and I found out we were expecting a baby. We were overjoyed with the news of this much wanted pregnancy, hence life suddenly changed and every spare minute was spent planning and thinking about our new roles as parents.

But alas it was not to be. A week ago we were informed that we had lost the baby. Once again things suddenly changed and we were left not knowing what or how to feel. It seemed like yesterday we were just kids and now we found ourselves dealing with something very grown up.

Grieving after a miscarriage is a strange feeling. We hadn't even had a chance to adjust to the notion of parenthood when all of a sudden the little creature we couldn't wait to know was gone. We were left with a great feeling of loss but it was not the same as the loss of a relative or loved one. Our little person wasn't a person yet so it was like we'd lost a promise or a hope.

Our lives have changed though, not in the way we were expecting but in a new way. We've come through an intense sadness to learn something new about ourselves, about our relationship (a rare occurrence after 12 years!). It surprised me to realise that I assumed H's career would always come first. His refusal to miss a day or work has meant many a missed birthday, anniversary not to mention every single Valentines day. But those things seem trivial and unimportant now because I know that when I truly need him, he will drop everything to be with me - I mean literally drop everything, including knives...mid-service. His extremely compassionate, caring employers did make that very easy, even the week after an 18/20 review had them PUMPING with a new deg menu to boot!

As for me - well I've survived it. This pregnancy wasn't meant to be, in fact 1 in 5 pregnancies are not viable and the number of women close to me who have at one point experienced the same thing is astonishing. One person in particular who has helped me through this - L, you know who you are. Knowing all of the facts and figures does help you see through the grief with a rational, practical outlook. Something was not right, nature did its job and there is nothing to say we won't have a happy, healthy pregnancy in the future, a future we are looking forward to.

On that note I'd like to end by thanking my wonderful GP and the amazing nurses and doctors at the Royal Women's Hospital. The level or care and compassion we have received has been second to none and they deserve much more recognition than this.

Good night lovelies xx

Getting off my BIG bum

After a looooooong hiatus I am BACK BABY!!

Stand by for about 3 months of catch ups!

PS. Sorry for being so slack and thanks for sticking around x

Take a deep breath, and.....

Well, it's certainly been a whirlwind of a fortnight with the realisation of our long anticipated European holiday - oh the sights that were seen, the sounds that were heard and the MASSIVE amount of incredible food consumed! So bear with me as I walk you through two weeks of food, fun and several 'cheesegasms'.

We kicked things off immediately upon landing in London. After a quick shower and costume change we met up with my little sister and headed east for brekkie in Spitalfields at St John Bread and Wine (offshoot of the Smithfield restaurant). We gorged ourselves on Old Spot bacon sandwiches (you can see me pictured here with my laughing gear wrapped around one!), porridge and prunes and poached fruit, yogurt and brioche. A perfect way to kick of for a couple of gourmet travellers!

The next couple of days were filled with treats from Hummingbird Bakery , great coffee at Coffee Plant in Notting Hill and tapas in Covent Garden before we crammed a few things in a bag and nicked off to Paris.

After scoffing a desperate microwave cheeseburger on the eurostar and catching a few much needed z's we made are way to the hotel. (A little note needs to be inserted here...I started writing this post in October and stopped after getting to this point because I needed to find the name of the kindly Parisian journalist who made our time in the city of lights oh so faboosh...H has told me a million times but it is very French and I cannot commit it to my hopelessly English speaking brain so the post continues and he will be known only as Mr Paris until I can correct it).

Update - The food writers names is Henri Yadan...YAY!

The Raddisson Trocedero was simply stunning. It was everything I hoped it would be. Classic French furnishings, perfect location! Henri met us before we had even checked in and whisked us away to L'Arc, a modern French restaurant in a prime position with the most perfect views of the Ard de Triumphe you will ever see. We ate like kings and banished all memories of the microwaved cheeseburger. Unfortunately I have no idea what we ate as we didn't order, we were just fed but the butter alone was worth the journey!

That night we ate at Michel Rostang - a hook up via H's employers..who also picked up the tab (it is always a concern when the woman - that's me - is handed a menu with no prices...) Again we were treated and ate like royalty. The wild duck being the absolute highest point among many.

We had only one full day in Paris and that was spent on a day trip to Versailles. A cycling day trip that is. I won't bore you with the details but let me say this...if you book a cycling tour please ensure you know how to ride a bike, otherwise there is a genuine risk that you will fall off said bike and scream the 'F-Word' at your husband in the middle of one of the most picturesque places on the planet resulting in American tourists 'tutting' disapprovingly...let's move on. We did have a fantastic picnic after a stop at the markets (pictured). This was also the site for the aforementioned 'cheesegasms', which involved H making very strange noises as we approached the many fromage stalls.

Our final night was spent at a newish restaurant recommended by Henri, Mini Palais. Again all French menus but very helpful waiters who confirmed my guess at 'chicken' and proceeded to bring me a bit of very fine roast chook...i mean le chook.

We were back in London 5 minutes before my bestie and her husband packed us in the back of the vauxhall for a mini-break in Cornwall which included a visit to Rick Stein's Seafood restaurant in Padstow. It DID NOT disappoint. There is a couple of pics here, yes that is a half lobster/full foie gras lobe salad. That was H's entree. And yes that is me attempting to fit the entire crab in my mouth at once, BRILL!

For our final few days we spent most of the time in pubs with breaks for visits to Borough Markets and a very speccy lunch at the Harwood Arms in Fulham, including English lamb shoulder, venison and grouse...yummers.

So that about sums it up, I'll spare you the emotional turmoil of returning to a place we once called home and still long to, and once again having to say good bye to my most precious friends not to mention my little blister (sister)...hmmm, maybe you weren't spared after all.

I'm sorry it took so long to wind this one up, i started writing in October and am typing now well into the new year but here it is...almost time for another trip me thinks!

Sympathy Takes You Places

So yesterday's post got a few people a little worried (by a few people I mean my mother)! Don't worry Mum, I'm not about to fling myself of a bridge!

Not long after the post was published I received a text message from my cousin, fashion blogger @sarahstyle (for those of you on twitter). A little bit of sympathy will get you to exciting places these days, as my cousin was texting to say she had a spare ticket to Melbourne Spring Fashion Week Designer Series 3 and would I like to be rescued from another lonely night in? Ummmmmm, yes please.

So I heeled up, threw on my fab new trench coat and dragged my boring old butt into the Melbourne Town Hall, and MAN, am I glad I did.

It's all about who you know (and @sarahstyle seems to know everyone) we were seated on the floor, a mere metre from the runway and in prime position to see the fabulous new creations from the likes of Gorman, Wayne Cooper, Bettina Liano and Arabella Ramsay. The Gorman polka dot dress was a definite fave and I will be looking into investing into it (yes I see my fashion purchases as investments). It really was a fabulous was to pass a chilly September eve and a BIG thank you goes out to my beautiful cousin for thinking of me.

As I strutted my stuff back down Swanston Street, goodie bag in hand I found myself thinking 'a girl could get used to this' and I practiced my best runway walk all the way home. Now, if I could just grow 3 feet...and lose 30 kilos...

The Dark Side of the Spoon

As of next week H and I will have been together for 11 years. H has been a chef for 10 of those years and I have never once felt like I was missing out on anything, having a partner who works so much...until now.

Most of our friends have now moved out of the city, my closest friends including my sister all live overseas, my parents live down the coast. This does not leave a girl with many options for human contact during the week. To be honest it's not even general socialisation I'm craving, I just miss my husband.

Every night I come home to an empty house, sure the cat is there but no matter how much I talk to him he doesn't answer back, with words I mean, he is constantly telling me he loves me with his eyes...SEE, I've become a crazy cat lady! Twenty-something married women are not supposed to be crazy cat ladies!

H doesn't understand and I can't ever expect him to. He has the opposite problem and I'm sure he craves some alone time but quite frankly I am sick of my own company, I'm just not that interesting.

Being married to a chef has a lot of benefits - great food, exciting adventures and proof that the expression 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' is absolutely true, but lately the mind numbing lonliness has been taking over.

I often think about what it will be like when we have children. Obviously it will be difficult but I guess it is for all new parents, and lots of families have one parent working long hours or shift work or the likes.

This post has been a little less jovial than usual but the blog is supposed to be about the life of a chef's wife and this is a big part of it. We all make sacrifices and compromises for the people we love and I would never ever ever ever expect H to make any changes to his career or choice but sometimes the person who sits around waiting for him gets to have a bit of a winge (once in 11 years isn't so horrible is it??)

So a big hug goes out to all the hospitality widows and widowers out there, this one's for you!

Twitterverse

Don't forget to follow me on twitter - @chefwifelife

Here's a few other twitter-ers worth following:

@Slavisa_ :all things divine and domestic

@fromBecca :up to date info on all things foodie

@eatyourmeal :my hubby!!

@HomeZeroHome :UK based blogger, very interesting info on greening our homes