Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Time for my bi-annual whinge (the last time I posted was in February...yikes). A long time between drinks but it has been quite a week and I felt I needed to get it down on paper (or electronic tablet device to be more accurate) for prosperity!

Just in case anyone reading this is not in fact related to me, let me preface this by telling you I am 20 weeks pregnant. Keep that in mind and consider that to be at least 70% of the cause of my current emotional state.

Sadly, my father in law has been battling cancer for a little over a year and though he's a fighter it doesn't look like he'll get to meet his first grandchild which breaks our hearts. It was with this information fresh in my mind that I waddled off to the office Christmas party last Friday in the muggy rain...I lasted until 8pm. As it was early enough to catch public transport home I waddled back up the street to the bus stop and promptly threw up on the street AND LET ME TELL YOU if you throw up on the street, on a Friday night, in December, people will not stop to help you. No matter how pregnant you may look they will assume you are drunk, not legitimately ill!!

So I jumped in a cab and ended up with a driver who proceeded to ask me the following questions:
"What is the meaning of Christmas?"
"What is Santa?"
"What is pitch?"
All of which I answered while covered in my own vomit...

Fast forward to Tuesday when I received a call from my mum informing me that my dad had managed to break his thumb and slice the flesh to the bone requiring 15 stitches...stress levels rising. Dad being a chef I assumed he had a kitchen accident but alas no, he was doing something or other on the roof...of course.

This left it up to mum and my darling husband to collect a shipment of champagne my parents imported from, um, champagne, at the docks at 7.30 this morning. In the meantime I was also at the docs (doctors that is) being informed that my bump was measuring too large for my dates - the fact that I had a perfectly normal ultrasound on Monday did nothing to dissipate my panic and I promptly freaked out and dissolved into a million puddle of tears in the back office of the clinic where they were hiding me. This prompted my GP to consult a private obstetrician in the end and it seems like there's nothing to worry about but everything was just building and building until I snapped...yeah. Word of advice ladies, if you can possibly go private all the way, do it!!! It is worth the money!!

To top it all off, as mum lugged her load of champagne home a wheel came off the trailer - mum is fine (as is the wine)!

So we've had quite the eventful week/month/year and have certainly earned our Christmas break! Look after each other and here's too a safe and happy holiday!! Please enjoy this photo of my cat as a break dancing elf - it's my gift to you x