A Series of Unfortunate Events

Time for my bi-annual whinge (the last time I posted was in February...yikes). A long time between drinks but it has been quite a week and I felt I needed to get it down on paper (or electronic tablet device to be more accurate) for prosperity!

Just in case anyone reading this is not in fact related to me, let me preface this by telling you I am 20 weeks pregnant. Keep that in mind and consider that to be at least 70% of the cause of my current emotional state.

Sadly, my father in law has been battling cancer for a little over a year and though he's a fighter it doesn't look like he'll get to meet his first grandchild which breaks our hearts. It was with this information fresh in my mind that I waddled off to the office Christmas party last Friday in the muggy rain...I lasted until 8pm. As it was early enough to catch public transport home I waddled back up the street to the bus stop and promptly threw up on the street AND LET ME TELL YOU if you throw up on the street, on a Friday night, in December, people will not stop to help you. No matter how pregnant you may look they will assume you are drunk, not legitimately ill!!

So I jumped in a cab and ended up with a driver who proceeded to ask me the following questions:
"What is the meaning of Christmas?"
"What is Santa?"
"What is pitch?"
All of which I answered while covered in my own vomit...

Fast forward to Tuesday when I received a call from my mum informing me that my dad had managed to break his thumb and slice the flesh to the bone requiring 15 stitches...stress levels rising. Dad being a chef I assumed he had a kitchen accident but alas no, he was doing something or other on the roof...of course.

This left it up to mum and my darling husband to collect a shipment of champagne my parents imported from, um, champagne, at the docks at 7.30 this morning. In the meantime I was also at the docs (doctors that is) being informed that my bump was measuring too large for my dates - the fact that I had a perfectly normal ultrasound on Monday did nothing to dissipate my panic and I promptly freaked out and dissolved into a million puddle of tears in the back office of the clinic where they were hiding me. This prompted my GP to consult a private obstetrician in the end and it seems like there's nothing to worry about but everything was just building and building until I snapped...yeah. Word of advice ladies, if you can possibly go private all the way, do it!!! It is worth the money!!

To top it all off, as mum lugged her load of champagne home a wheel came off the trailer - mum is fine (as is the wine)!

So we've had quite the eventful week/month/year and have certainly earned our Christmas break! Look after each other and here's too a safe and happy holiday!! Please enjoy this photo of my cat as a break dancing elf - it's my gift to you x

Too Cool for School...(Prawns) & a Visit to the Colonel

Firstly a gripe. A newly engaged colleague of mine (we'll call him DPB) was telling me of a recent experience at one of Melbourne's most popular eateries. DPB and his fiancé were given a substantial gift certificate to said eatery and as regular customers decided to make use of it straight away. They enjoyed a lovely meal (no one is arguing with the quality of the food) but could only manage to spend half of the voucher in one sitting. After handing over the voucher to settle the bill DPB and his betrothed were informed that they were "all square" and they could be on their merry way. "Pardon me my good man," said DPB "but I believe you are mistaken. Our gift certificate was for x amount, we spent y amount, are we not therefore owed z amount?". "No," replied the waiter, "we don't re-issue certificates for balances unspent. If we did that we would be constantly writing certificates!" ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME????

1. This is the most absurd policy I have ever heard of.
2. Surely it is not only absurd but illegal
And
3. They have lost a good customer because of this.

The restaurant has received the "y" amount paid by DPB's generous friends, therefore they are entitled to goods and services equal to that amount. The audacity and arrogance on display here beggars belief as far as I'm concerned and they won't be getting my custom anytime soon either! I don't mind queuing for a table (although this particular diner does take bookings), I am happy to fork over hundreds for a meal but what I get in return had better be worth it. Technically being asked to spend $300 on what would otherwise cost $150 just because you have a certificate is utter stupidity. Luckily the happy couple had the good sense to order up on the drinks...and leave them on the bar.

On a happier note - who's paid a visit to colonel tan's? The funky little Thai restaurant at revolver upstairs is going great guns. The food is simply fresh and delicious. Order the Bangkok bolognese and a refreshing cocktail, you shan't be disappointed. Sit at the bar or pull up a couch. Thursday night is locals night (that's tomorrow!) so if you live in the south yarra/Prahran area be sure to take your license for a discount. This little gem pumps new life into the term cheap & cheerful.

Colonel Tan's
@ Revolver Upstairs
229 Chapel Street
Prahran 3181
9521 5985